The Truth That Comes With Time

Hello All!

I’ve thought so often in the last two months about writing. To tell you honestly, I’m glad I didn’t. I’ve felt so homesick for Switzerland that my heart hurts just to think of not being there anymore. I’ve felt very low, at times, and every time I think to write to you it is to say something to that effect. Today, though, it came to me that now was the time to record some thoughts and most of them are not as sad as I’d once intended them to be. Now is the right time to write them down and keep a record for the sake of the harder moments which have been and I know will come again.

It occurred to me, as I was driving along, today that I have many times in my life used the phrase “that was the best time in my life”. You see, every time that I’ve referred to as such, be it in reference to a block of years or just summer camp, has been life changing for me. The furthest in the past I can remember was high school; that was while I was in college…and I missed those Hab Central girls so much! Then I so badly wanted out of college only to look back at that time as “The Best”. And again for the two years I lived with B(P)K in Gainesville…we had such a marvelous time together (dinner parties and movie nights…) but I found moving on all too easy and the aftermath even more difficult than all the times before.

And now there is the present. Switzerland. It was, to date, the most marvelous time of them all! I think back at the scared person I was making the decision to move there, I actually wasn’t sure I’d go through with it, and I wonder how I could have ever been so chicken when it ended up so beautifully…I question what my life would be like now if I’d never gone at all…what kind of person would I be, certainly different, but in what way??

I’ve already spoken with some of you about my desire to live in Zürich again, though I haven’t exactly decided how immediately this plan will pop into action. I thought moving home would be the end of it…that I’d just automatically be content to stay but that’s not the case. I miss my friends and family in Switzerland just as much as I missed everyone here when I lived there; it is a strange feeling to be torn between two places in this way. I’m no fool, though; I know things wouldn’t be the same if I moved back, just as they aren’t the same here as when I left. People move, some pass on from this world, buildings are built and train schedules change…if I went back today the most noticeable hole for me would be the lack of Megan…my partner in crime for nights out on the town and all around sidekick for long-weekend European adventures! Others have left as well and will continue to leave over the next few months until I only know a small amount of people left there and, of course, my wonderful Swiss family.

I have been looking for jobs in Zürich, but also looking at jobs here at home. I’m sitting on a fence between the decision to stay here and the decision to go back there…on any given day the wind blows me around and I think I’ll fall to one side or the other and just know what to do, but it hasn’t happened yet.


There is a point to all this banter, I promise. My point is that the best is still yet to come. That next “Best Time in My Life” is just around the corner or perhaps I’m in it just now as I sit here writing. I don’t know what will happen to me tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. Different avenues and opportunities often come when we least expect them…but until then, and I’m a firm believer in this, you must choose your own feelings. Happiness isn’t what happens to you but rather how you react to what is happening. So today I choose happiness. I’m attempting to plant happiness in my brain, in my thoughts every moment, in my actions…I’ve been walking around here like the biggest sad panda ever and looking back I’m quite disappointed in myself.

I don’t know where my life will lead me in the coming months but I’m attempting to look on it all with an open mind and an open heart. And to quote that wonderful song which was sung by Mr. Sinatra, “The best is yet to come and babe, won’t it be fine? You think you’ve seen the sun, but you ain’t seen it shine”…well I’m ready, bring on the sunshine!

Thanks for reading and I apologize for the choppiness in thought, I just wanted to share a few of my feelings from the last week or so. I know it’s been a while since I last posted but I’m staying busy with lots of odds and ends. I’m working now to put my blog into a book, but not one for the public…just for me, to keep for ever and ever, can’t wait to see the end result! I’ll try to write again soon!


LuLu